Monday, February 24, 2014

The Unknown Caller


Hello?
VOICE IN STAB
Hello.

CASEY IN "STAB" 
Who is this?

VOICE IN "STAB"
You tell me.

CASEY IN "STAB"
No, really who is this?

MAUREEN
Bitch hang up the phone up and Star 69 his ass! Damn!
So for three weeks now I been getting these calls with no Caller I.D. I'm like I know this isn't a bill collector so it must be some child playing on the phone. I never answer the calls. A week ago I wake up to a voicemail from the Unknown caller and I must say It must suck to be a this woman. You can’t go out to the bar without throwing a drink in someone’s face. All of your friends talk shit behind your back. You never get chosen on the Bachelor. 

Your boyfriend only takes you to McDonalds. Either you go to an inner city high school that’s in need of Michelle Pfeiffer to help you learn to read or you’re stuck in the suburbs as the sassy sidekick to some witty blonde. Apparently Maury Povich is the only positive male role model in your life. Oh and don’t you dare get out of line with your man because the State Farm guy is always waiting to replace you with someone a shade lighter and with less attitude. You always eye rolling, church going, McNugget eating, man problem having female whose only positives seem to be the ability to dance and dress nice. Today’s special word is BULLSHIT, as in the portrayal of this women who blocking her number has become straight bullshit.


I should mess with her and answer the phone one day.... NOT! KICK ROCKS!

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